10 Reasons Why You Dont Have Orgasm

Only 10% of women can easily climax, As for the other
90%, Your body, mind, position and mood may lower
your chances of hitting the big O, but so can other
lesser-known factors.
Read on to see the 10 sneakiest reasons why you don
not cum:
A large category of women have not and may never
experience the euphoria of a deep seated mind blowing
orgasm. These women are that way cos
1. They’re still learning how.
Just like learning to skip, it comes more easily to some
people than others, it takes persistence to learn, and
nobody ever really has to, but it sure is a fun game and
everybody deserve a chance to try it. You can only
master your body and what works for it with a long
standing experience. Take it easy and be patient
2. They believe they're just not a woman who has
orgasms.
There probably are women who never orgasm, ever in
their whole lives. But in my experience, any woman
interested enough in sex to want to have an orgasm
almost certainly can, given the right context – i.e.,
enough activation of the accelerator and letting go of
all the brakes.
3. They don’t want to.
Maybe it’s because they’ve had a long, hard day and
it’s just not worth the effort. Maybe they enjoy the
pleasure of arousal all on its own, without the goal of
orgasm. And you know what? Maybe they’re
withholding their orgasms from their partner because it
takes a lot of trust to let go that much, it’s a huge gift
to the partner, and it can even slingshot a couple into a
deeper level of intimacy. Sometimes a relationship isn’t
in a place that makes orgasm seem like a good idea.
4. They’re not “pre-heating the oven.”
It still surprises me how many women believe orgasm
should just happen, more or less without effort, just
through clitoral stimulation. Even the clitoris needs a
sexy context; without being turned on, stimulation of
the clitoris will just feel weird or even painful. That said
…
5. They’re not getting enough clitoral stimulation.
Women worry about not having orgasms during
intercourse, especially. But actually less than a third of
women are reliably orgasmic from penetration alone.
The reason? Intercourse is not a very good way to
stimulate the clitoris, and the clitoris is, for most
women, the hokey pokey: it’s what it’s all about.
So when in doubt, add clitoral stimulation, whether it’s
with your hand, your partner’s hand, a vibrator, your
pubic bones pressing together, whatever.
6. They’re not taking enough time.
It can take anywhere from a few minutes to most of an
hour to have an orgasm (20 minutes is typical, longer
is totally normal). Orgasms are like childbirth: they take
as long as they take, and each one is different.
7. Their partner is in the room – or their partner isn’t
in the room.
Or generally they’re in a physical environment where,
instead of being able to go all mushy-brained and just
celebrate the sensations in their bodies, they’re
distracted by thoughts like, “What if this is taking too
long?” or “What if my partner is bored?” or “What if I’m
not even doing this right?” or any of the million other
ways that they might be self-monitoring instead of
paying attention to pleasure and allowing that pleasure
to grow. This also includes potential unwanted
consequences that come with a partner, such as risk of
STI transmission or unwanted pregnancy.
8. They’re still recovering from trauma.
When sex has been used as a weapon against a
woman, her brain learns that sexy things (things that
activate the accelerator) can also be threats, things
that hit the brakes. Given that a conservative estimate
is that one in five women has experienced sexual
violence, this applies to a whole lot of women.
Healing from trauma takes patience, self-compassion,
and opportunities to experience sexual pleasure in
contexts where you feel safe inside your own body.
Start on your own, figuring out what you want and
what your body needs. Once you learn to feel pleasure
while you feel safe in your body, you can then add a
partner if you like.
9. They’re worried about their body or the sin they are
about to commit.
Even more common than trauma are the body-shaming
cultural messages that distract women’s attention. The
bible say this , the bible says that. Some are just with
terrible self esteem. They’re thinking about how their
face looks or what the fat on their belly is doing
whether or not their cellulite is noticeable. The question
to ask yourself when these thoughts emerges is, “Why
does it matter?” No really. Why?
Answer: because we’ve been taught that only women
with “flawless” bodies are allowed to enjoy sex, and if
we make faces or have fat on our bodies or otherwise
“fall short,” then enjoying sex is against the rules. We
have been taugh that self exploration is wrong right
from birth. About how God hates sex. This is bullshit
immediatly one gets married legally. unfortunatly most
women do not shed these philosophy with ease. It
takes time and practice to replace those self-critical
thoughts with affection for your body, but the benefits
extend far beyond having more and better orgasms.
10. They’re worried about their orgasm.
Oh, the irony. Perhaps the most common difficulty
faced by women who struggle with orgasm is the
tendency to worry about orgasm, even as their arousal
increases. The more aroused they get, the closer they
get to orgasm, the more they worry. “What if I don’t
have an orgasm?” and “What if I do have an orgasm?”
and “Will I even know if I’ve had an orgasm?” and “Are
my abs supposed to be shaking like that?” and “Is this
what it’s supposed to feel like? Am I sure I like how
this feels?”
The solution is to notice those thoughts, let them go
for now, and shift your attention, gently and neutrally,
to the sensations in your body. Orgasm happens when
we surrender our bodies to sexual arousal – and the
best orgasms happen when we surrender in a context
of trust, affection, permission, and acceptance of all
the things our bodies are and do.
It’s like skipping. Once you learn how, your body never
forgets. And everybody deserves a life so full of joy
that they can do it when they want to.