12 Things Successful People Never Reveal About Themselves at Work

You can’t build a strong professional network if you
don’t open up to your colleagues; but doing so is
tricky, because revealing the wrong things can have a
devastating effect on your career.
Sharing the right aspects of yourself in the right ways
is an art form. Disclosures that feel like relationship
builders in the moment can wind up as obvious no-
nos with hindsight.
The trick is to catch yourself before you cross that
line, because once you share something, there is no
going back.
TalentSmart has tested more than a million people
and found that the upper echelons of top performance
are filled with people who are high in emotional
intelligence (90% of top performers, to be exact).
Emotionally intelligent people are adept at reading
others, and this shows them what they should and
shouldn’t reveal about themselves at work.
The following list contains the 12 most common
things people reveal that send their careers careening
in the wrong direction.
1. That They Hate Their Job
The last thing anyone wants to hear at work is
someone complaining about how much they hate their
job. Doing so labels you as a negative person, who is
not a team player. This brings down the morale of the
group. Bosses are quick to catch on to naysayers
who drag down morale, and they know that there are
always enthusiastic replacements waiting just around
the corner.
2. That They Think Someone Is
Incompetent
There will always be incompetent people in any
workplace, and chances are that everyone knows who
they are. If you don’t have the power to help them
improve or to fire them, then you have nothing to
gain by broadcasting their ineptitude. Announcing
your colleague’s incompetence comes across as an
insecure attempt to make you look better. Your
callousness will inevitably come back to haunt you in
the form of your coworkers’ negative opinions of you.
3. How Much Money They Make
Your parents may love to hear all about how much
you’re pulling in each month, but in the workplace,
this only breeds negativity. It’s impossible to allocate
salaries with perfect fairness, and revealing yours
gives your coworkers a direct measure of comparison.
As soon as everyone knows how much you make,
everything you do at work is considered against your
income. It’s tempting to swap salary figures with a
buddy out of curiosity, but the moment you do, you’ll
never see each other the same way again.
4. Their Political and Religious
Beliefs
People’s political and religious beliefs are too closely
tied to their identities to be discussed without incident
at work. Disagreeing with someone else’s views can
quickly alter their otherwise strong perception of you.
Confronting someone’s core values is one of the most
insulting things you can do.
Granted, different people treat politics and religion
differently, but asserting your values can alienate
some people as quickly as it intrigues others. Even
bringing up a hot-button world event without
asserting a strong opinion can lead to conflict.
People build their lives around their ideals and beliefs,
and giving them your two cents is risky. Be willing to
listen to others without inputting anything on your
end because all it takes is a disapproving look to
start a conflict. Political opinions and religious beliefs
are so deeply ingrained in people, that challenging
their views is more likely to get you judged than to
change their mind.
5. What They Do on Facebook
The last thing your boss wants to see when she logs
on to her Facebook account is photos of you taking
tequila shots in Tijuana. There are just too many
ways you can look inappropriate on Facebook and
leave a bad impression. It could be what you’re
wearing, who you’re with, what you’re doing, or even
your friends’ commentary. These are the little things
that can cast a shadow of doubt in your boss’s or
colleagues’ minds just when they are about to hand
you a big assignment or recommend you for a
promotion.
It’s too difficult to try to censure yourself on
Facebook for your colleagues. Save yourself the
trouble, and don’t friend them there. Let LinkedIn be
your professional “social” network, and save
Facebook for everybody else.
6. What They Do in the Bedroom
Whether your sex life is out of this world or lacking
entirely, this information has no place at work. Such
comments might get a chuckle from some people, but
it makes most uncomfortable, and even offended.
Crossing this line will instantly give you a bad
reputation.
7. What They Think Someone Else
Does in the Bedroom
A good 111% of the people you work with do not want
to know that you bet they’re tigers in the sack.
There’s no more surefire way to creep someone out
than to let them know that thoughts of their love life
have entered your brain. Anything from speculating on
a colleague’s sexual orientation to making a relatively
indirect comment like, “Oh, to be a newlywed again,”
plants a permanent seed in the brains of all who hear
it that casts you in a negative light.
Your thoughts are your own. Think whatever you feel
is right about people; just keep it to yourself.
8. That They’re After Somebody
Else’s Job
Announcing your ambitions at work when they are in
direct conflict with other people’s interests comes
across as selfish and indifferent to those you work
with and the company as a whole. Great employees
want the whole team to succeed, not just themselves.
Regardless of your actual motives (some of us really
do just work for the money), announcing your selfish
goal will not help you get there.
9. How Wild They Used To Be in
College
Your past can say a lot about you. Just because you
did something outlandish or stupid 20 years ago
doesn’t mean that people will believe you’ve
developed impeccable judgment since then. Some
behavior that might qualify as just another day in the
typical fraternity (binge drinking, minor theft, drunk
driving, abusing people or farm animals, and so on)
shows everyone you work with that, when push
comes to shove, you have poor judgment and don’t
know where to draw the line. Many presidents have
been elected in spite of their past indiscretions, but
unless you have a team of handlers and PR types
protecting and spinning your image, you should keep
your unsavory past to yourself.
10. How Intoxicated They Like to Get
You might think talking about how inebriated you
were over the weekend has no effect on how you’re
viewed at work. After all, if you’re a good worker,
then you’re a good worker, right? Unfortunately not.
Sharing this will not get people to think you’re fun.
Instead, they will see you as unpredictable, immature,
and lacking in good judgment. Too many people have
negative views of drugs and alcohol for you to reveal
how much you love to indulge in them.
11. An Offensive Joke
If there’s one thing we can learn from celebrities, it’s
to be careful about what you say and whom you say
it to. Offensive jokes make other people feel terrible,
and they make you look terrible. They also happen to
be much less funny than clever jokes.
A joke crosses the line anytime you try to gauge its
appropriateness based on how close you are with
someone. If there is anyone who would be offended
by your joke, you are better off not telling it. You
never know whom people know or what experiences
they’ve had in life that can lead your joke to tread on
subjects that they take very seriously.
12. That They Are Job Hunting
When I was a kid, I told my baseball coach I was
quitting in two weeks. For the next two weeks, I
found myself riding the bench. It got even worse after
those two weeks when I decided to stay, and I
became “the kid who doesn’t even want to be here.” I
was crushed, but it was my own fault; I told him my
decision before it was certain.
The same thing happens when you tell people that
you’re job hunting. Once you reveal that you’re
planning to leave, you suddenly become a waste of
everyone’s time. There’s also the chance that your
hunt will be unsuccessful, so it’s best to wait until
you’ve found a job before you tell anyone. Otherwise,
you will end up riding the bench.
A version of this article first appeared on
TalentSmart.com.